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It’s all going to go so well – you’ve got it all figured out. You searched online for ‘the best 7-day smartphone detox’ and ‘how to do a digital detox’. You planned each step carefully. You’re ready to cut all ties with your apps, friends list, email, and you’ve even bought an alarm clock just for the occasion.
Your very first step? Sleeping with your phone in another room. Something feels wrong – not being able to check Instagram before going to sleep is making you want to – what? Read? Impossible! You wonder if breaking out your Kindle is allowed in a digital detox.
You can feel your phone burning a hole in your pocket. It’s so close. You’ve turned off all sounds and notifications, yet you’re almost certain you can feel a new text just arrived. Surely it doesn’t hurt to have a little look? You can always pretend you were checking the time.
So maybe doing a smartphone detox the week after applying for a new job wasn’t the smartest idea. You feel strangely proud, though – it’s the first time in a long time you’ve seen a new voicemail. Are you allowed to listen to it? It’s too important to ignore. You call them back.
Sometime between dinner and bedtime you realise you haven’t thought about your iPhone in four hours. You’re tempted to fish it out of your bag, but resist the temptation. Even the thought of your Neko Atsume cats not having any food isn’t enough to break your resistance. You feel so proud of yourself.
You leave your phone at home for a whole day. The sky looks bluer, the air feels cleaner and your eyes are brighter. You’re free. That’s until someone tells you about a new game you absolutely need to download.
You wonder if your phone misses you. It’s such an important part of your life. You’re not ready to break up with it, not even for a week. You wish you could call it and apologise.
You wonder why you started doing this in the first place. It doesn’t make you happy – you’ve been dreaming about your Instagram feed for three nights! It’s time to make up with your beloved smartphone and apologise for doubting it. You’ve got 427 unread emails to go through.
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