Picture this: you’ve just settled down to a good film, got some cheap popcorn and a cup of hot chocolate and then whatever you’re watching only lasts 10 minutes…
This could well be the scenario if the characters used a mobile phone to get themselves out of trouble a lot quicker. Back in the day (unbelievably) mobile phones either didn’t exist or, slightly more recently, not everyone had access to them.
So, we’ll be taking a fun look at how different a film would have been had the characters owned mobile phones. And apologies in advance for butchering some classics here!
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Let’s start with an obvious one. Imagine how simply the situation could’ve been resolved for Kevin McCallister if he and his family owned mobile phones. Instead of worrying about their child’s welfare after forgetting him from their holiday plans, the parents would’ve simply needed to ring or text Kevin, rather than scrounging for change on the airport phone. And surely Mr and Mrs McCallister has nearby friends they could have easily contacted and asked to look after Kevin if only they had mobiles.
Sure, the house would’ve been robbed but it would’ve saved a lot of emotional scarring.
A bomb is about to destroy Springfield, which has been enclosed within a glass dome. In Alaska, Homer discovers the evil plan but has to suffer getting mauled by huskies, whilst travelling across land and snow, to whatever state Springfield is in. Why not just give Marge a call to warn her and then put your feet up next to an Alaskan log fire?
So a murderous fancy dress expert is giving 90s teenagers threatening phone calls on a landline. Maybe if they had a mobile they could simultaneously inform the police before old Ghostface gets bored of chatting.
Continuing the horror theme, Marion Crane would’ve saved herself a lot of bother if she’d had mobile data. She could look up ‘good motels which don’t have a suspicious past with creepy owners in the local area’, and I’m pretty certain Bates Motel wouldn’t have been an option.
The gripping tale of a mountaineer who becomes trapped under a boulder and SPOILER must amputate his own arm to escape. Surely he’d have mountain rescue on speed dial?
When dinosaurs run amok on a tropical island, you could probably do with Google Maps to work your way around. No guarantees you won’t come across a T-Rex, but it might stop you falling off cliffs or crashing into high voltage fences.
Who needs epiphanies and guardian angels when it would be more time-efficient to receive a text telling you to not dive off a bridge because the good town’s folk have donated enough money to save the bank. Of course, Clarence wouldn’t have got his wings, but maybe instead of a bell the film’s famous line would be ‘every time a phone rings, an angel gets his wings’. Nah that’s probably too far.
Come one, let’s be honest Superman and Clark Kent look exactly the same, but people just can’t seem to spot it. This one isn’t necessarily a solution, but would’ve saved Clark a lot of time having to put his glasses on whenever someone walked in the room.
Imagine Superman has saved Lois Lane and she goes to ring Clark to tell him of her incredible adventures. Bit awkward when Superman’s phone starts to buzz. And at least things are out in the open now.
I was going to suggest the Captain could’ve used a phone’s GPS system to detect the ice-berg, but phones can’t even do that these days, jeez.
However, as Kate Winslet lied shuddering on a piece of wood in the Atlantic Ocean, she could’ve rung the lifeboat people to rescue her and Leonardo DiCaprio before he slipped away into oblivion. I mean it would have needed to be the water-resistant iPhone 7, obviously, but it could’ve worked.
Pretty straightforward this one. Set in 19th Century USA, freed slave Django is longingly searching for his wife across the Deep South. If he’d simply called her it would have saved some time. Doesn’t solve the problem of recusing her from the devilish clutches of one the Leonardo DiCaprio character that should’ve drowned in the Atlantic Ocean.
We don’t merely use phones for calling, texting and looking stuff up on the internet. Phones are also a fundamental means of day-to-day activities, like waking up. Most of us use them as alarms, and an alarm is exactly what you’d need if Freddy Krueger was poking around your dream. Naturally, you could just use an alarm clock, but with a phone you can pick a cheery melody to wake up to, to distract from almost being gutted.
So far, all of the above suggestions have held some sort of realism to them (if you know what I mean). For the final entry, we’ll let the handbrake off and go a little crazy.
In the Chamber of Secrets, Harry and Ron need to get to Hogwarts after they miss their train. Instead of nearly driving the flying Ford Anglia into the Hogwarts Express, Harry could’ve whipped his phone out, ordered an Uber, and had a safe event-free journey to school. And if it was his first order it would have only cost him a couple of galleons. Seems plausible.